Debi Silber – Beyond Betrayal
Description of Beyond Betrayal
Receive a proven process for healing betrayal, one that can be the end of dimming your light and the bright beginning of a more confident you.
Dr. Debi has researched and developed five predictable stages of feeling and healing Post Betrayal Syndrome: Set-Up, Breakdown, Survival, Acceptance, and Rebirth.
In this Beyond Betrayal 7-module video course, Dr. Debi will meet you at whichever stage youβre at and introduce you to the right next step leading to a new version of yourself, one who couldnβt have come into being without the betrayal.
This Beyond Betrayal course is far less about the other person and what they did to you than it is about you β you embracing this potent opportunity to create a new identity and release identification as a victim. This inner makeover can lead naturally to refreshingly different external dynamics and relationships.
In addition to having 7 sessions of powerful insights that lay the groundwork for your healing with Dr. Debi, this course will feature a supportive mix of experiential activities, demonstrations, journaling, and guided visualizations anchored in relatable analogies to help them stick.
Healing from betrayal is work. Dr. Debi half-jokes that she should have T-shirts printed that read Easy Now, Hard Later. Hard Now, Easy Later. You donβt want to skip over the hurt of betrayal, only to have it linger in your system and manifest later as physical or psychological issues. You want to turn it over to a time-tested, well-researched psychological process.
βEverything I teach always has a hopeful, transformational spin,β says Dr. Debi, alluding to her work as a means of accessing soul-level learning. βIf Iβm talking about anything heavy, itβs because you have just as much of an opportunity to heal from it.β
Beyond Betrayal: 5 Stages of Healing to Help You Trust & Love Again is seven modules and five stages to a stronger, more confident you β a you whoβs solid in how you live and who
What youβll learn in Beyond Betrayal
During Beyond Betrayal, youβll:
- Overcome what can feel like a life sentence of anger, sadness, fear, and/or trauma following betrayal
- Recognize that anxiety, depression, and PTSD β as well as weight gain, digestive issues, poor sleep, low energy, and impaired focus β may have originated with a betrayal
- Discover the lasting benefits of Hard Now, Easy Later versus the quick fix of Easy Now, Hard Later
- Quiet the negative thoughts and ruminations about what happened so you can restore mental peace and regain a sense of control
- Retrain your brain to shift its focus from who or what hurt you to the discoveries awaiting you on the other side
- Meet and grow into a new, strengthened version of yourself as you move on from the betrayal
- Consider whether youβve outgrown certain relationships and find out how to attract satisfying new ones that support your growth
- Learn to set boundaries and establish goals so you can feel empowered and confident
- Determine whatβs right for you and your situation when it comes to ending or restoring the relationship with your betrayer
- Embody feeling safe, open to love, and willing to trust again β and find the courage to act accordingly
- Experience life beyond betrayal, relishing a new sense of stability, ease, and happiness
What Youβll Discover in Beyond Betrayal
In this 7-part transformational intensive, Dr. Debi will guide you through the fundamental skills youβll need to move beyond betrayal and into a newly strengthened, more confident self.
This Beyond Betrayal course will step-by-step teachings and experiential practices with Dr. Debi. Each session will build harmoniously upon the previous ones, so youβll develop a complete holistic understanding of the practices, tools, and principles youβll need to move beyond betrayal and into the empowered person youβre called to be.
Module 1: Understanding Betrayal & Shattered Trust β An Overview
Betrayal has an impact on your body, mind, and heart. Blindsided by the person or people you trusted the most, itβs natural to grasp at whatever or whomever you think might ease your pain. Or, conversely, you do nothing and hope that time will repair the wound.
Without correctly healing from this unique type of trauma, you risk remaining sad, stuck, or sick. Betrayal jolts your sense of confidence, belonging, and worthiness. It kicks up feelings of rejection and abandonment.
Because betrayal affects you on every level, it needs to be healed on every level. A proven and predictable roadmap exists for fully healing from betrayal, and youβll step onto it this session.
In this module, youβll:
- Define what betrayal is and does, coming to understand the different types of betrayal (family member, partner, friend, coworker, self, etc.) and why shattered trust hits so profoundly
- Hear how betrayal makes you question everyone and everything, and how what youβre experiencing is totally normal
- Explore the ways an unhealed betrayal can affect your health, work, and relationships
- Consider when and where your trust was originally shattered (it may not be where you think)
- Track how the beliefs you have now were formed by the betrayal, and see if theyβre keeping you sad, stuck, or sick
Module 2: Three Groundbreaking Discoveries That Change What We Know About Betrayal
Dr. Debi will walk you through how the game-changers she uncovered in her doctoral study β Post Betrayal Transformation, Post Betrayal Syndrome, and the 5 Stages From Betrayal to Breakthrough β can become essential go-tos when you apply them to your situation. Comfortingly, her work confirms the predictability of healing; the full physical, mental, and emotional impact of betrayal; and how betrayal is a different type of trauma that requires a different approach to healing.
Through these respective lenses, youβll explore how an unhealed betrayal may be affecting your health, work, and relationships β and what to do about it.
In this module, youβll:
- Receive validation that this isnβt all in your head: Betrayal is a different type of trauma and healing it has its own name, now called Post Betrayal Transformation
- Check your health status and mental/emotional states against the collection of symptoms so common to betrayal that theyβre now known as Post Betrayal Syndrome
- Accept that, lest you stay stuck for years, decades, or even a lifetime, to fully heal you need to go through the proven and predictable 5 Stages From Betrayal to Breakthrough
- Take a quiz to see which symptoms of betrayal (even if it happened decades ago) may still linger for you
- Determine which of the 5 Stages From Betrayal to Breakthrough youβre in and how to slowly, carefully, and cautiously move forward
Module 3: Stage One β Reprioritizing Your Needs: Emotional & Spiritual Over Physical & Mental
Imagine the four legs of a table: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. Itβs common to lean heavily on the physical and mental legs and neglect the emotional and spiritual ones. Doing so makes you really good at thinking and doing (using your mind) and not so good at prioritizing feeling and being (tuning in to your heart).
With only two legs strengthened, itβs easy to see how the table topples, which can very much happen if youβve experienced a betrayal. Balancing the four brings stability.
In this module, youβll:
- Ask yourself 4 questions to check if youβre numbing, avoiding, or distracting β none of which allow you to care for yourself or others, or to answer your soulβs higher calling
- Look into some of the most common reasons you may seek out such behaviors as above
- Make a pie chart of all the areas (work, kids, health, relationships, self, etc.) on which you focus during the day and determine which percentage of your time goes toward each
- Learn how the mind takes a thought and, over time, turns it into a belief, leading to subconscious programming thatβs responsible for your actions, behaviors, and habits
- Practice a powerful mind hack to create from these subconscious beliefs a new set
Module 4: Stage Two β Breakdown of the Body, Mind & Worldview
On βD-Day,β or Discovery Day, you learn the news that stands to forever change life as youβve known it. The betrayal completely shocks your body, mind, and heart. Physically, the shock ignites your stress response. Mentally, you canβt wrap your mind around what just happened. Your worldview craters. This is the stage where youβre scared, frantic, lost, confused, and desperate to feel better.
Itβs time to move on from D-Day. Todayβs class will focus on crafting a self-care plan that soothes and supports you while setting you up for lasting healing.
In this module, youβll:
- Dial into what happens during this stage and what you can do about the waves of pain, sadness, anger, and confusion
- Hear about the most common symptoms left in the wake of a betrayal and learn how, unchecked, they can lead to illness and disease
- Learn how the right kind of support can move you through this and the other stages, while the wrong type of can hold you back
- See how common it is to struggle and suffer in silence, as you protect the betrayer and/or deal with shame and embarrassment
- Be cautioned against masking physical symptoms, which is like putting a sticker over a carβs check-engine light, versus addressing the root cause
Module 5: Stage Three β Survival Instincts Emerge
In the aftermath of betrayal, youβre spinning with questions: How will I survive this? Where do I go? Who can I trust? In Stage Three, you figure out some of the answers and, in the process, feel so much better.
Which is why Stage Three can be the hardest to leave. Survival feels so much better than the shock and trauma from which you just emerged, causing you to think, βWhew, Iβm OK!β
The problem is, youβre unaware that Stages Four and Five are available to you, so you resign yourself to thinking, βThis is as good as itβs going to get; Iβd better get used to it.β A few things happen when thatβs your belief:
You get used to all kinds of small self-benefits from being in that space: You get to be right. You have someone to blame. Nice.
Next, because youβre feeling less-than, unworthy, undeserving, and unlovable, your energy attracts the same. The mind wants to be proven right, so if those are your beliefs, your mind will find evidence by way of confirmation. If you werenβt already stuck enough in Stage Three, this keeps you glued there.
Youβre not happy in this stage, and donβt know how to make the pain go away, so you look for ways to numb, avoid, and distract yourself from the feelings β be it with food, drugs, alcohol, work, TV, keeping busy, people-pleasing, or perfectionism. Diving into these βmethods of mass distractionβ may keep the feelings at bay, but they do nothing to actually move you through your discomfort; youβre simply trying to outrun it.
In this module, youβll:
- Learn why things may get worse before they get better and what getting unstuck looks like
- Acknowledge the benefits of remaining stuck and how they may be enticing even though you think you want to move forward
- Validate your anger, sadness, pity, and compassion as progressive emotions that reveal your movement from one stage to the next
- Consider adopting a Hard Now, Easy Later approach that pays off in the long run versus the often subconscious choice to go with Easy Now, Hard Later
- Amass the qualities, tools, and strategies you need to move out of this most alluring stage
Module 6: Stage Four β Finding & Adjusting to a New Normal
In this module, youβll examine the stage wherein you recognize, accept, and acknowledge that your old normal no longer exists.
Youβll explore how while you canβt undo the betrayal, you can control what you do with it.
Youβll receive help creating a new space thatβs worthy and deserving of the new version of you thatβs now emerging.
In this module, youβll:
- Review certain relationships to see if youβve outgrown them β common as you move from Stages Three to Four β and grieve those whose time has passed
- Prepare yourself to intentionally seek growth-minded soul warriors with whom to grow
- Learn how spirituality, faith, or religion help rebuild trust and play an integral role in continued healing and transformation
- Take what had been your life story and write β as a coherent new narrative β its pivotal next chapter
- Look through the window of willingness to assess if itβs safe and in your best interest or not to heal and rebuild with the person who hurt you
Module 7: Stage Five β Healing, Rebirth & a New Worldview
Here, the body starts to heal. Youβre prioritizing yourself and your self-care. Your mind begins to heal as well. Youβre making new rules and boundaries based on what you see so clearly now.
By this stage, youβve also formed a new worldview as you look back on all youβve been through and the road youβve traveled. You see just how far youβve come. Youβre choosing to heal. Doesnβt it feel great?
In this module, youβll:
- Envision the version of you whoβs healthy, healed, confident, strong, and happy β who feels safe and is able to trust and love
- Review what actions, habits, and behaviors are needed to get you to this version of yourself and create a custom roadmap to get you there ASAP
- Consider the role of forgiveness in accelerating your healing by discussing what withholding forgiveness does to body, mind, and heart
- Rebuild shattered trust from the ground up using a 4-step process
- Create an entirely new relationship with yourself and write a new script about how you expect others to treat you
About Debi Silber
Dr. Debi Silber is founder of the PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute; a holistic psychologist; and a health, mindset, and personal development expert. She is the author of Trust Again, The Unshakable Woman, and From Hardened to Healed: The Effortless Path to Release Resistance, Get Unstuck, and Create a Life You Love.
Dr. Debiβs recent PhD study on how we experience betrayal revealed three groundbreaking discoveries that have changed our understanding of how long it takes to heal. In addition to being featured on FOX, CBS, The Dr. Oz Show, and TEDx (twice), sheβs an award-winning speaker and coach, dedicated to helping people move past their betrayals and any other blocks preventing them from manifesting the health, work, relationships, confidence, and happiness they desire.
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